Wednesday, December 5, 2007

When life knocks the fuck out of you

Ever notice how life keeps you on track? Seriously, when you're down and thinking that life just sucks for various reasons in your life, did you ever notice how things happen to put you back together?

Sometime's it's spending the evening talking to someone about their relationship with someone else and you find yourself being honest in spite of your feelings about that same person - sometimes it's finding out that your personal space is filled with people who think that being devious is more important than honesty - but no matter, life is still going to throw you for a loop that says it really doesn't matter so much.

You get an email from a friend who is nursing their partner towards death. You're reading through their comments about how the medical people who are major players in their day to day lives - including the comments about not making it until Christmas, or the family members that they still have to deal with who are selfishly more concerned with themselves.

Big changes are on the horizon. When, how and where are still unknown, but this much I know. I'm not dying. There are people who genuinely care about me without any strings or requirements. They have no agenda, no requirement to be devious for whatever satisfaction some people get from that. So I'll survive. And maybe find out that I made a difference for someone, in spite of

Unlike my friend - who has done all that, but probably won't be here to celebrate Christmas. At least he won't die lonely, surrounded by people. Surprising how much that matters.

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